Saturday 5 March 2016

The oranges weren't orange enough

The oranges weren’t orange enough and the not-perfectly-green apples had already been purged. The tomatoes were, for the day, to be considered vegetables because it was obvious the vegetables needed a dash of red so that they could be identified as vegetables and not just kale, which is how it looked now, because kale sends the wrong message or at least not exactly the right one, this is primetime TV after all, possibly not the biggest demographic of kale eaters; and speaking of kale, could you replace that box over there? 5-hours or is it now 8 at any rate lots later and it’s no longer looking its best and everything needs to at least seem the best of everything because god-dammit this is what we're being paid to do.

Later on all the bread had to be thrown away. 

But only once we’d moved everything back to where it had been after moving it all so it looked just like it did but different. But then, who even remembered what it looked like before?

And the whole time no one even blinked an eyelid because everyone was a professional and a very professional one at that and they were shooting a 30-second commercial and 30 seconds is hardly enough time to blink in anyway. (I just timed myself and I seem to blink every 4-seconds).

Illustration from Pen & Palate.

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