Sunday 17 March 2024

HARVEST REPORT 2023

How to say something new about the same thing every year? 

Normally I tend to focus on the things I fucked up. It’s funnier for you, easier for me and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that news, to make it into the papers or on tv, must be bad.


For this harvest report though, I won’t. Not that things didn’t go wrong (like the barrel I blew up), just that all the really important things went right.


I’m not talking about the wine. I can’t if I’m not allowed to talk about how I tried to ‘clean’ 1000L of mouse through fermentation by adding a bit into oh you know just about every tank and multiplying my problem by oh I dunno around 9***.


For the same reason I’m not allowed to talk about how I turned all my red wines pink, or how on the first night of using my new-old press I turned a thankfully not essential part of it into scrap iron. And I already fucked it up by telling you about the barrel. It’s fine, I have a table now. 


Obviously my life would be a lot more chill if I wasn’t sitting on 90hl of maybe or mini-mouse. And I quite like red wines that are red so it’s a shame that mine aren’t. But it’s just wine! No matter what I do they will always do their own thing, which is a) better for them and b) I prefer drinking others’ anyway! The juice behind is clear and good. The maybe-mouse might not manifest and the mini mouse will go away.


— stops to pray — 


More important to me than what wines I made is how harvest 23 consolidated something I was already suspecting: that my wines most most important purpose is making me friends for life.


People come and go often from all over and that’s great, but there are also those who, even though they’re gone, are there to stay. In touch, in spirit, in the little things left in my life, the totems in my chai. Already in 22 I couldn’t believe my luck for the people who came to help, but this year I realised that while I’m lucky, maybe two years in a row is not luck. Maybe it’s just how it CAN be. Anyway, it’s how I believe making wine should be. Collective, with many captains, ideally with me not doing any work. 


But maybe you aren’t interested in all that and would like the stats. Here are some things that come to mind:


I welcomed people for work into an actual chai. I had my two press running at the same time at least once. I have a pump. This year I rented the truck for a whole month. We were a team of 8 on rotation and we made NINE THOUSAND LITRES (yes yes, of mouse). We slept in the van. We slept in vines. I slept in the chai. Meg is the BEST cook, Mattis wasn’t bad. You too Aimé. We swam, we painted, we bottled, we packed. We had German pils, fancy coffee, Italian snacks. We had an SB 16/20 and a resident deejay. I don’t really remember what we did to each wine but I remember how much I laughed. 



1. Viognier (and 500kg of Muscat. Re-passed over Gamay = mine is now red!)


Mattia Carfagna. We had a chauffeur and a transpalette that weighs shit and 11T refrigerated truck = chillest harvest ever plus delivery with Americanos on the beach after. I swear it took until my second reading for me to see the pun.



2. Sauvignon Blanc


Sylvain Saux. Swam in the sea. Police gave me a warning for nudity. Craziness huh nudity on a beach. Three of us slept in the van in the cold. Picked in the rain! Ate a lot of figs! Meg packed us rice balls! Picking 1.2T took until 16h bc of all the mildew = verrrryy slow. Future name: SB 7/7?


3. Syrah


Rita-Rita leaves so it’s just me and j-dog and the best tuna-tomato casse-croute in the shade outside of MADA’s gate, ever. Seb, we met you at Orfenor for your briefing beers later! Speeding ticket number one. Whole grapes, 10 days.


4. Viognier


From the same producer, same 400km away, same highway two days later. Another killer road-side sun-set snack-dinner. Limp Bizkit! The Offspring! Le Cousin’s Le Franc! Press direct bc off-ripe. First (last?) time I had three men in my press.


5. Cinsault


Left for the south at 18h and slept in the vines under a full moon which sounds romantic but (not)sleeping with a lamp over your head is not. Speeding ticket 2. Carried out 1.7 tonne. Rows v v long. Mattis there when we get home.


6. Pinot Noir


The home-grow was down to 7 caisse this year, picked in a million degree heat. Pressed by candlelight with four caisse of Gamay.


7. Grenache


Same as in A toi nous from across their road except theirs is good and mine is f*****. The part that isn’t was pressed direct and is the bod of Hot Girls 3. Fried chicken for lunch.


8. Gamay d’Auvergne


Manuel Duveau and Nicholas Lebleu-grown plus thanks to Felix, Yanis, Victor and Zach for the extra hands. Got drunk! 


9. More cinsault


From Gerald Oustric who says it’s “pour le proche” samedifference as me calling it ploussard from the south. We kill a lot of time on the tractor, then a lot of time at lunch. Good thing Ardéche is close! Truck over-loaded. Cokes on the road. 



***dear my distributors: please still distribute me?



My <3 to: Rita, Meg, J-dog, Seb, Holly, Nicoline, Mattis for all of you. Orfenor for being the halfway house for my krew. Lisa and Paul for their contact, Aimé for his when two of mine cancelled, and to all the growers for doing what I couldn't do. Thank you. 

 

Harvest report 2021

Harvest report 2022

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Sunday 14 January 2024

Free 2024 wine horoscope for scorpio in the fifth house of ABRACADABRA


You're a sign known for being a control freak scorpio, but 2024 is all about peace, love + serenity so it's time to chill the f— out. In the Chinese zodiac 2024 is year of the wood dragon. You too are  a dragon, an earth dragon, with your match in the kosmic mouse and your moon in Jupiter in the 5th house. Lucky you!

A tree can only put down roots where there is land. True, there are those jungle air-trees but you are not a jungle tree. You are in the Auvergne which is not the jungle and you have land! Not actual land like for vines (see: Auvergne) but a concrete cow barn after three years of Three Very Temporary Spaces Outside of Your Control in which you tried to make wine. You like control. You like order and… order and if you weren’t a dragon you would be a hobbit, and if you were a hobbit your moon would be in the sky which is basically the same sign. Yes, I see the irony.

So you are now a dragon that has land-ed which in cosmic convo means that in January your galactic guardian, transformational Pluto, sets up shop in Aquarius and your fourth house of home, family and roots for twenty years = stability! Predicability! Finally! (But don’t worry, there’s still room for spontaneity and maybe enfin that wine + italo part-y). You now have — mental — space to worry about other things. Perhaps like buying a labelling machine? A stock-taking system that matches reality?

You might be a tree but remember that wood also floats. We heard, you like control: but I would like you to go more with the flow. Don’t be heavy. Don’t be morose. Search what you seek! Don’t really know what exactly that is? Get out on a limb. Dare to dream.


The year starts with a promising transit as the full moon illuminates your 10th House of Social Status. And talking about stars and houses and how you need a bigger one, apparently now your project is a domaine! 3 February Domaine ABRACADABRA Hannah Fuellenkemper will be showing at Naturall in the Loire with a line up of stars even though I still don't think 'Hannah Fuellenkemper' is a wine name. 


(Here're some pics from Naturall last year).


Full moons are times of manifestation. Be the change you want to be. Put your wines in the sizes you want to drink! Litres! Halves! Mags! Crown caps in fluo-green and hot pink! Why is it only beer companies producing these??


As both of your ruling planets, warrior Mars and transformative Pluto, enter retrograde phases, it means it's time to learn how to use that fancy ass pump you bought, because so far you’ve spent a lot of money in order to pump air. Likewise may I suggest you finally get some vines and release something that was actually made with grapes from here? 


The moon’s north node says you need two more tanks with doors. Your mom says you need a working partner. Uranus says find an accountant. Aries suggests more sex in French. 


On life: remember that it is to be lived in the now! That it is transient and moves quick and that you are too young (35!) to feel old (35!!) Take up hobbies, create more art. Read. Write more. Check in with yourself: do you laugh enough? There is more to life than wine and you will become bored and jaded if you do not. Because — again: Auvergne — it might take until 2027 but hang on: the non-wine friends will come.


Oh, and this just in: my crystal ball says don’t stress too much about the fact all your red wines turned out pink in 2023. My bet's that pinks @ 10% stay hot. Do you really think there's a chance they might not?


Venus, the planet of abundance, moves into Sagittarius and your 2nd House of Possessions. Your moon is ascending! I don’t mean money stupid, it was your choice to give up law. Your wealth is your people. You are a dragon and they are your gold and for you to guard.


The Time of Taurus says it is time to accept that your friends will always be more economically active than you, but that if time is money then it’s you not them who is rich! You are the boss, boss. Remember this when you are bottling, labelling, cleaning or otherwise feeling like a robot-operated machine. 


Your other ruling planet, the transformative Pluto, goes retrograde from like, now, so it’s finally the moment to stop making expensive mistakes with your wine. Months-long macerations are out. Cinsault in everything is fine! The real, not astrological-sign mouse you infected your wines with will go — in time. You've come this far. In short, pluto's backward dance poses no cosmic obstacles to 2024 being your year. You do you.



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Saturday 30 December 2023

the year in retrospect (but basically you can skip to May bc that's when life started bc that's when I got my chai)


December is for looking back and forward and not for looking at the high numbers on the scale or the lack of numbers on your bank account. It’s the time of the year I feel to be on-repeat giving the run-down to my parents' friends what I’m up to, when I have to admit to my parents that once again I haven’t done all I’d planned to do and the moment for me to write personal and unattainable to-do’s with the safest start-date there is: next year. 


December is also the time of the year I have to renew this very hannahfk domaine name or in other words, the time of the year I wonder why I do. I'm hanging on bc recently someone told me blogs are (again?) cool. And bc I wish I wrote more. So here! It's not writing-writing but some words on my year in review.


Note 1: this isn’t my annual harvest report. The 2023 report is coming! It's by now tradition that it's late! In the meantime here are harvest reports 2021 and 2022.


Note 2: I will start in February because January was shit.



February: 


* I present at my first tasting! Which is not true because in 22 there was the Volcanic tasting in Geneva and since 2020 there's the summer tasting we do at Orfenor but neither of these are tastings in the loire which is obviously where I had to do a tasting to feel the ‘my first tasting’ feel. It was jammed, I ate 5 pieces of the best gallete de roi I ever had, I peed maybe once and I will be back! 3 Feb!



Started painting the 3,700 bottles I sold this spring. Also most of my clothes. I am open to collabs. I am also open to sponsorship from (or suggestions about) paint brands that actually stick to glass. 


* ‘Made’ a logo! Made new labels! I’m ABRACADABRA now, to the huge relief of all the French people on the phone who don’t understand me spelling ‘Fuellenkemper @ email address'. 



March:


I found a chai!!!! It’s an old cow barn but to me it’s a flat floor, high voltage electricity and ONE space with ONE key and it’s for ONLY me.


* Learned how to stack a pallet and stacked my first pallets. Thanks to Stefana for the diagram and to Pascal for showing me how to wrap them. 




April: 


* Finished painting 3,700 bottles spread on the floor over three different locations. Friends came to help label. One of these friends made me a table. I wrote about gratitude for the wonderful people I meet through my wine here. 





May: 


The day after the fête du Chassignolles tasting not at Chassignolles but in a dark theatre in Clermont I drive to the new chai to pick up the key to find out there was no key. But there’s space! I will take until mid August to complete moving into this space. 


Biiiig thanks to Rita-Rita for helping me move the first tanks.



* Speaking of the fête and tanks: I pick up my first tank with a door! Paid for with funds from the fête! 



Mid May:


There’s the Spring Tasting in London which is great and I return hungover but on a high. The next morning there’s a bottle delivery of 7 pallets and knowing I have to 1) fill them  2) pay for them and then 3) move each and every one of them to the new chai makes me cry.


* Bottled my two barrels of cab franc volatility from 2020 with Lisa! Thank you Lisa!


Mid June: 


Bottled two of my 22s, both to be released in spring 24:


1) AcQUeUx - DEux (cinsault in magnum) 

2) bAsTeT (carignan-bourbulenc not in magnum)


Moved these 2,000 +/- bottles and a fair few gas tanks worth of other stuff too. Particular mention to the in-house engineer at Belly Wine for help with one particular move. I wouldn't have been able to move my press without both of you.



July: 


Drove a flatbed Toulouse-way to pick up a new, very old, quite big, seriously heavy, press. Here are some take-aways from the day: Turns out I didn't need to be nervous about driving a flatbed. Also turns out one should measure the height of the ceiling AND of the door frame before buying very hard to manoeuvre things that need to fit under the ceiling AND through the door, and of course I didn’t! So it stayed outside and while offloading it Aimé almost died. 



* Threw the party of the year. Everyone came, including a surprise. Danced until 09h. THANK YOU FELIX! The press is now inside.

* Oh oh!!! And my pump (!!) arrived!!! 




Mid July: 


Bottled 2000 more 22s:


1) dEAd cAt sTraT (xarello - macabeau. Release spring 24) 

2) OccULLLLtt 22:22 (mauzac - grignolino, release winter 24)


M***-d them.


Rest of July: 


Continued moving bottles (to cut a long move short, in short I moved 6,500 of them plus personal stock).



Continued moving everything else.



If ever I have to move again I will only do so after a really big sale.



August:


* Set up the new cellar to host the best harvest team ever.


* Moved liquid in liquid form, 2000 L by gravity, alone. The night before I learned high voltage plugs are not uniform and that my brand new pump didn't fit the wall. I panic! Electricians are on holiday, it's August. I sit on one of my new plastic chairs and cry to Stefana on the phone.





16 August


MY 2022 CHAI IS EMP-TAYYY!



18 August 


Harvest starts. 



September:


* Harvest ends the 15th in the Ardèche chez Gerald which for me is fun because I end where I started. 


* We bottle the remaining barrel of Λ b Λ Α n Α Θ Α n Α Λ b Α in my ex-garage. It will be released in winter 2024. I know everyone hates this cuvée name, I'm not sorry.



* 2/3 of my old work spaces are now officially empty.

* We have an end of harvest party for the Auvergne vigneron on 22 September. Nicoline picked sunflowers and I drink long-promised margaritas and don't last later than 12. HBD to YOU j-dawg!!


November:


* I move the last 700 bottles I have to move and work space 3/3 is finally empty. I try to forget how I already moved these 700 bottles to this space a year ago but obviously I have not forgotten it.


* I get an official stock check by the douane! To the person who denounced me: feel free to reach out so I can thank you personally for your concern.



30 December:


It's the end of the year and I'm getting antsy about the things I haven't done and the cost of things I have. I blew up a barrel (even if an empty one) and have 800 litres that stopped months ago at a density of 1001. I turned 1000L of souris into 2000L which isn't so bad when you know the risk I took could have made it into 4! I still feel overwhelmed and make very avoidable mistakes but all in all, considering I consider this my third real year, things are really getting better. Some context. Maybe you don't remember, but last year this time I was writing about building a temporary cellar! 


Review complete. 



// Massive thanks as always and forever to everyone who helps and supports me and drinks me and reads me and buys my wines from me and distributes me and lends me material when in need. Thanks to those who make me laugh and for listening when I cry and for your patience and encouragement and advice. Thank you also to those who have come from so far and have become close. Rarely, in a way, do I work alone.


See you next year.




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Monday 25 December 2023

Holiday wine is the new garage wine


No garage wine this year like I said there should be every year but instead a 16-potential, potential-wine from leftover grenache picked on holiday on 15 October, de-stemmed and finger-stuffed into two glass bonbon on the street and left to hopefully ferment on a table in a café in Padern.

Thank you to Pierre for inspiring our project with your project — and then for saying yes and lending us your space and stuff. To Marius for your eggrapoir and help for our harvest, to Manu for growing the grapes and to the 1/4 of the village that helped out.

— Café des Sports, Padern

                                                                            














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